Proven Tips for Online Dating Success
Plenty of individuals would describe their experience with online dating as a love-hate relationship. Whether it is due to matches who post outdated pictures or misrepresentation of their age, or encounters with matches who never want to meet in real life, chances are pretty good that if you surveyed a handful of your friends about their online dating experience, they would say they have had some level of frustration or disappointment. Yet there are just as many out there who say online dating was a successful experience for them.
At one point, online dating was not a common way to find a partner, but nowadays, it may feel like you're more likely to find a potential partner online than in real life. With online dating comes an ability to consume all of your time and energy on innocent dating. To have a good experience and successful results, even while navigating disappointment, online dating requires patience and an awareness of ways you may be presenting obstacles for yourself. If you've been feeling frustrated with online dating and are looking for ways to increase your chances of success with it, consider the following suggestions:
Conserve your dating energy.
It's simple to get fatigued from dating apps and websites, especially if you're swiping on matches all day. The more fatigued you become, the more apathetic you feel and the less energy you have for potential partners that would have made a quality match. So, think about capping your dating app use to 1-2 times per day, for a limited amount of time. This allows you to conserve your dating energy for the chance to show up as your best self with the matches you already established.
Make sure to check in with yourself before you swipe on a dating app.
Have you been to the grocery store when you are really hungry, and then you end up grabbing everything in sight? In the same way, if you are feeling sad, lonely, or hopeless, it will be difficult to make decisions that genuinely serve you. You may be more inclined to either overlook red flags or swipe right on profiles that you clearly would otherwise not consider because of how you are feeling. If possible, consider using a dating app or a dating website when you are feeling energised and excited about talking to people and meeting new people. If you are experiencing a time in your life when you are not feeling great, just give it some time and let your feelings come up, and if you feel much better later, then go back to dating apps.
Restrict the number of matches you are communicating with simultaneously.
When engaging in online dating, there is an inherent risk of overextending yourself with too many give-and-takes, which can make dating exhausting. Instead, think about how many matches you could connect with at one time without becoming drained. People often tend to keep searching for additional matches without ever connecting with the current ones or giving themselves and the other person a chance to get to know the person in a meaningful way, which means you never get into the mindset of really connecting consistently with any single match and creates space for you to continually seek the "next best thing".
Consider what feels most depleting to you about online dating.
Spend time thinking through where you might have energy leaking in the dating process and how you might replenish yourself. For instance, people tend to scroll on dating apps constantly, which can obviously feel exhausting. Some people are drained from dating because they are forcing themselves to date a specific number of people every week, which invariably will make dating feel like a job. Other common grievances online daters have include matches that don’t ever ask them out after so much time, don’t respond to messages for an extended period of time and/or don’t ask them any questions.
In your profile, include what you do want.
After experiencing this same type of situation a few times, many people begin to highlight the things they do not want in their dating profile in the interest of time. The problem with this is that leading with what you don't want may seem negative to a potential dating partner who would otherwise be a great match for you but has no other knowledge about you. Instead of focusing on what you don't want, try adding in your dating profile what you do want.
If you feel like you need a break to recharge, please do.
Have you ever tried to put furniture together and felt stuck or overwhelmed because it
Seemed like putting the pieces together would undo your efforts? Maybe you stretched yourself trying to keep pushing through on fumes or gave up. You'll be amazed at how much more you will get done if you just take a break from trying to put the puzzle together and return to it later on.
Don't just focus on a single one.
If you have spent a lot of time in text conversations or calling the same match before meeting, you are more likely to become prematurely attached to them because you may overlook red flags, especially if you are feeling excited in that moment about this person and the possibility of the future. Pay attention to how often you may focus on their potential and bring yourself back to the moment.
Discover the way to present your profile
Identify a way to highlight your key strengths in your profile. Think of how your friends or your family would describe you to a future partner. What are three characteristics or strengths they specifically like about you? See if you can work some of that into your profile.
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